Movie Review:- Queen (sortof)(contains spoilers)

I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works..
~Louise Hay

Hi everyone. I hope everyone is having a beautiful time.
So It’s 2014 and Bollywood is like a 100 years old. But it’s a fact that it makes very few women centric films like English Vinglish and Queen. I love the Indian film industry but if movies have the power to change you then they should make more movies that change the average mans thought process about life. It’s always in extremes; it’s either like Shudh desi romance which highlights I don’t even know what about relationships because I was so done while watching it or it’s like highway beautiful but so incomplete. Or like Chetan Bhagat’s stories or Udaan.
This is too long a discussion and so I’m just going to cut to the chase. I’ve seen too many nice Hindi movies in the past few weeks and I saw Queen today. Oh how I loved it.
(When I watch a movie I love paying attention to detail and I scrutinise everything and basically cry if it’s too good or if it’s too bad )
So Queen is directed by Vikas Bahl and has Kangana Ranaut playing the lead and her name is Rani which basically means Queen in Hindi. She’s the nicest girl ever and because her boyfriend who’s a complete typical chauvinistic maleegoistoosuperior patriarchyistheshit chesthairrules womencantdrive type of boyfriend.
(Now being a woman I sometimes do think that some ladies cannot seriously drive but I do not appreciate men saying it. Nope.) so this guy is unsure about her getting married and a day before the wedding he calls it off which leads to tears, heartbreak and a divine intervention sort of a thing where she decides to go to Paris and Amsterdam alone. (Fuckyeah).
The movie is basically about her journey and self discovery and all the cliches. But God how I love the details of this movie. Everything is so genuinely shown; the wedding preps, the weird family and just every detail everywhere. It’s so honest and so real. And I think that makes the movie so enjoyable.
Moving on with the story…
So she goes to Paris and meets the coolest person called Vijaylakshmi.(who’s a girl) They party and she basically let’s go and has a blast. After that she visits Amsterdam (all alone) and stays in a hostel with three boys (who are the CUTEST THINGS EVER). She chills with them and ventures to see Amsterdam with them. But the idiot fiancé comes right up there and tries to apologise and get married to her. It’s kind of obvious that she says no. But what’s cool is how she does what she does.
Kangana’s portrayal of Rani is so good I would give her an award right there. Her expressions are so perfect and she convincingly plays the small town girl thing. She’s innocent but at the same time she knows what she’s doing and she’s wise enough to judge what’s wrong and what’s not.
Every girl should be what she becomes in the end. Happy. Free. Independent.
And unattached where it’s required.
I loved how she basically left her fiancée to go to a rock concert with her friends and when they had to leave she allowed herself a moment of sorrow and then got her shit together and kept banging her head because the concert was still going on. (Because life only moves forward oh yes. Quite often we learn bigger lessons from the small moments)
All that’s required is some strength. She didn’t need anything except for her smile and determination to be happy. She was happy on her own. And that’s why I loved the movie because it gives you so many messages in one package. How it’s never about being in a relationship, how to like people for what they are regardless of what they do and how to get up and live for yourself.
Queen isn’t the best movie ever but it’s a special film because it gives out a message to men and to women and it’s also so so so funny. It’s genuine entertainment not the fake kind you get from seeing people beating each other up be it salman khan or Madhuri dixit.( maybe a little fun can be had by watching them gulaab ladies beating men though )
But I love queen and it’s so required for people who wish to travel alone.
Okay this might be long but I had to.

It’s HOLI tomorrow and I’m not playing this year either and it’s cool because I have to study so much. But regardless Happy HOLI everyone. May your day be colourful and beautiful and safe.

Also watch Kalki Koechlin’s monologue on being a woman. I can’t attach it here because my phone is giving up.
You’d find it on YouTube it’s very recent
Until next time!

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The world is weird

Why is it so easy to criticise how someone looks. We all do it at some or the other point. But what differs is how we feel about ourselves after you say bad stuff about someone’s appearance. Here by appearance by I mean a persons face or weight or body type ; things that people are born with.
Whenever I write these posts I always end up lagging nice words. I have such a nice collection of words and proverbs to use but they never seem to come to mind when I’m writing these blog posts like woah brain thanks a ton. Those words come out of my mouth when I’m talking to my 12 year old sister or when I’m mumbling in my sleep.
I think every teenager struggles with the question of how they look; how they look to their friends or how they look to the opposite sex but I guess we forget in this how we look at ourselves.
I don’t know maybe I care too much about looks is because I got told by people loads of times that I’m fat and ugly. People called me ugly at a relatively bad time. When you’re 15 you start to get the grown up stuff it’s basically when you learn now to deal with all levels of bullshit and you learn stuff. So okay if at 15 I’d been told I don’t have a nice face again and again I would and I did take it to my heart instead of taking it to the bum and fart(ed). It took me the longest time to realise that I’m not that ugly. It involved a lot of tears a lot of heartbreak and a truckload of fighting back mixed with advice from people I love which went like ‘ugly is what ugly does’. But I always wondered what really is ugly and as cliched as this is I realised that it was them who were ugly inside.
These feelings make you feel great in that moment they reassure you that no you aren’t doing anything wrong.
But you know, the real challenge is to keep that thought process going even in the worst times ; even when the people keep it going with their critiques ; the challenge is to keep your chin up the whole time and that challenge is fucking hard and every time you flinch it’s so easy to fall apart.
Why I’m writing this post is because I had a peculiar expression in this one photo very recently. I thought I looked pretty funny and sometimes (actually every time ) funny is the best thing to be. But then some people have to make fun okay fine cool make fun but they won’t know when to stop and after a while it really hurts. Because in that smallest moment I let myself get affected and it hurt and I almost made a mistake of reacting to it. But I got my shit together and I shut it because Im better than them oh yeah.
If consciously or sub consciously I do the same to someone I try to apologise and I try to forgive myself.
Maybe I let my insecurity show and thus people see it as an opportunity. I guess though. I guess.
I think for me there’s still a long way to go. Honestly I still don’t think I’m pretty. I have moments where I think I’m too fabulous and other moments where I’m pretty sure I’ll be all alone.
But hey I’m trying and I’ve come a long way. There’s very few people who acknowledge me ; my best friend my mother my sister and my teachers. So I believe where I go wrong is when I want others to see what they see in me.
It’s okay to want attention but it’s not when you let it affect you
I let it affect me and thus this post. But hey now, blogging is therapy and my blog missed me.
Also to those who follow me gosh I love you all.
Always try your best to never talk bad about someone’s appearance directly or indirectly.
Also isn’t Ryan Tedder’s voice just like Michael Buble’s? They almost look the same to me and sound the same too. But I like Ryan more because OneRepublic.

New year New post aw yeah

Why hello. I suck at being regular at writing either I make two posts all at once or I make one and make another a year later. So it’s 11 January and thus I can still wish everyone a Happy New Year! If you’re reading this May you have the best best year ever. And if you’re not reading this May you read my tiny blog this year and have best year ever. I am so happy today. I had an a accounting exam and my balance sheet tallied. And I’m going to ace that paper Gah I’m so proud of myself. Also last year (hehehe) I decided to lose weight, but really slowly, because slow is the way to go. So I’m almost there I have lost 7 kgs by now I have to lose 8 more kgs and I’m loving the healthy feeling I get because no I’m not sweating it out in the gym but I walking more and I’ve begun this running program with the target of being able to run 30 minutes in 8 weeks. Running is so good. The joy of running in fresh air; the wind blowing on your face it makes you happy it makes you think clearly. It’s lovely and it gives me this sense of pride that I’m doing it on my own for myself. Also Sherlock premiered and oh my god. Words cannot describe the brilliance of that. So new year happy things and I realised that I need to start living for myself now. But more on that later.

How to get rid of feelings.

Feelings regarding boys are really weird. You find someone attractive and you just keep finding them nice and it develops into a liking and then it becomes a ‘crush’. ( at least I think so ). But bleh they are all feelings. Ew. not ew always because these feelings actually make you feel all warm inside says my best friend. My other  best friend says we’re lucky to be able to feel this. I know this but sometimes its annoying.

So I like a boy. After a really long time. It feels kinda nice. Heck it feels so nice. But I know me. I tend to overdo things. I think too much and I expect so much. I think about it when I know nothing is possible at the very moment. I don’t like it when the feelings overwhelm me. I do not like smiling when cute boy talks to me. I absolutely do not like that I’m making a post about this. But cute boy is so cute but I have no time. Here are the facts I know:

  1. He likes someone else
  2. I have to study and get good grades
  3. I am really funny and pretty(not required here but randomly saying makes me feel nice )
  4. I’m a big bag of hormones so dating not so advisable. Nope.

I want some one to hold me, I want a big adorable boyfriend too but It is so impractical. Its not negativism that’s talking its just how it is.

I read a quote the other day;” your life right now should be filled with spending time on finding yourself and building friendships”. I am going to do that. I love meeting new people its fun. Someday maybe I would find my partner in someone who’ my best friend but no I’m not going to meet new people thinking ,”Oh he could be my love in 23 years “, no I’m not that stupid or desperate.

I’m going to focus on enjoying this liking thing to a small extent and not think about that future because that’s only going to make sad.

Maybe after a few years I too will find someone who likes me as much as I like them(and maybe make a blog post about me) because Good things come to those who wait. And I’m kind of a pro I’ve been waiting 18 years and I’m so prepared to wait more.

P.S: I came first in my class this semester. It feels nice and also College is so much more fun now. (touch wood).

9 more days left for Christmas yay!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gratitude unlocks the fullness in life
It turns what he have into enough, and more.
It turns a denial into acceptance, chaos to order , confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
A house into a home , a stranger into a friend.

-Melody Beattle.

Hello again.

I am so sorry I haven’t been posting. its not like i was regular this is like my 5th post or something but still.

Its thanksgiving yay. I don’t celebrate it with turkey and stuff  though because

1I’m a a vegetarian

2 I’m Hindu so we don’t really celebrate it with anyone

3 My mom and my sister don’t  even know it’s Thanksgiving.

So moving on I think giving thanks is the most important thing in the world, it’s so important to us as people.

‘Thanks for the birthday wishes’ ‘Thanks for listening ‘ ‘thanks for being there’ ‘thanks for paying him off’. Thanks is used all the time everywhere and a small word has so much importance attached to it it’s unreal. Sorry and Thank you are the most heaviest words. Both mostly ensure settlement and calm and acceptance.
So the other day I was reading the papers and I stumbled upon this article which talks being thankful each day.

It was how one should keep a journal and everyday write down the things they are thankful for.
When you sit down like this and decide to write it you are overwhelmed by how many things you have to thank for.
The word Thanks is itself so magical to me. A proper thanks can bring about a smile on someone’s face and in turn on yours because you could make them smile.
So thus then I decided to follow it. I took a journal and sat down and started to think about what I’m thankful for. The easiest things I was thankful for was food water shelter and a great Internet connection. As I kept jotting them down I started thinking more and I realised I have so many other things to be thankful for. I am thankful that I have great friends. I am thankful that today was a great day and that I could face the day with ease. Once I started thinking my thoughts were clearer and I felt more positive and I started seeing everything in a good light.
Accepting these thinks and expressing gratitude makes you a better person because it takes a good effort and acknowledge a good deed without seeing our own selfish intention.
So basically give thanks everyday thank the person who opens the door for you thank the rickshaw guy who takes you where you wanna go, thank your self for being perfect in your own imperfect way. Because once you do so you will appreciate the little things in the world and maybe see stuff in a different light.
Happy Thanksgiving again, celebrate it to the fullest and Eat turkey with cheese jerkey.

Alone or Lonely?

So I’m what you call a freshman. The college I go to is a private college and its different. Different how? It has very few people compared to all the big universities my friends are going to right now.

A month into this place and I am alone. One would think few people so easier to make friends and its a united front where you are friends with every single human being in the college. But its not really . Here in my college friendship too is like a competition. For 3 weeks I was the only girl in a class full of boys and I felt so out of place and so lonely. I hate being quiet all the time I hate it so. I had to be quiet because no one would speak to me. I ate alone and sat alone. But a few days down I realized that I’m feeling sorry for myself. That is not something anyone should do. So my mom explained that  being alone can actually be a good thing.

When you’re alone you are your own master, you are in your own shell. She told me “Focus on developing a dynamic rapport with yourself”. SO I tried and I am trying every single day. Its a huge deal because it is so hard. Last week a girl came to my class but she doesn’t hang out with me much she doesn’t even say hi and she finds my sarcastic and random humor crazy and stupid. But its okay. I am slowly learning to accept things like this .I am making peace with the fact that I may not magically get a small group of pals I wanted to bad. I am learning to divert my focus to getting good grades. At least this way I don’t have anything to distract me.  at least that is what everyone says.

Its easy for any person to say ‘Its fine its not a big deal. Take a book along , listen to music do this do that’. That’s good advice oh yes but it is hard okay its so hard. But I am trying and slowly it gets better and I hope its gets better than this.

I am learning to be happy. When you’re happy the world is happy too. So now I focus on being happily alone rather than lonely. Because lonely is an expression to describe the sympathy one has towards themselves and no one should ever bring themselves down. Like ever. (plus when you feel bad for yourself you tend to emotionally eat and we know how that turns out.)